It's 10.15 pm and I'm sitting in the office with a cigarette in my hand and a beer on my desk. I should be finishing up an agreement which was supposed to be due yesterday but I absolutely have no more energy left to think. Today is one of those days you wonder why you're doing what you're doing in this company and if it is worth it. Hell it's only been 1 month and for the past 27 days, work has not been easy.
It has been late nights every single night and even during weekends I was expected to be at events if not in the office and if I'm home, I have stacks of proposals to read. Tomorrow is a public holiday but still I have to list down ideas and strategies to promote a particular brand. It was meeting, brainstorming, reviewing, briefing the whole day and these meetings hasn't been kind to me. My boss especially, hasn't been very kind to me. Why bother placing me in a particular project when my opinions are not even put into consideration? Let's not talk about considering, but cutting me off everytime before I even have the chance to finish half my sentence and not even looking at me (as though I'm invisible) while talking when there's only 5 person in the room sitting less than 2 feet away from one another is unbearable.
Not only that work is giving me a massive headache, now I've got personal problems to deal with. I don't even want to think about these personal stuffs because work is just too overwhelming. It's not giving me even a single minute to think about other stuffs other than work.
A good friend was giving this comment late one night when she saw me still at work "Ei, do you know your mum grow misai already? Still don't want to go home aarr?? I think your mother and your sister grow misai already also you don't know. How long you never see your mother already?' To think about it, the only time I see my mum would be in the morning before I leave for work, and late at night when I creep into the toilet in her room to have my shower while she's sleeping.
With so many things happening at the same time I wonder how long I could hold on. I can't even remember the time when I actually had a proper meal. In fact, sometimes I even forget that I am hungry and there's no food in my stomach. And to think that I live by the philosopy 'Live to eat and not eat to live'
Is it all worth it?
