What My Father Said....

One of the few things that my friends and I enjoy the most are eating and traveling. Fortunately for us we're blessed to be born in a country with a great variety of different food (thus my size). And we gathered that since we can't afford to travel overseas on an occasional basis we'll just settle with short interstate trips.

You know, the kind of trip that takes you to Penang for the Prawn Noodles, Seremban for the Hakka Noodles, Malacca for the Satay Celup, Popiah, Chicken Rice or even Genting for the cold wind and Coffee Bean. It is one of the ways to really let go of ourselves after long stressful weeks at work. We work hard, and we play hard. We don't see no harm in doing what we enjoy occassionally because we believe that's one way of enjoying life without forgetting other responsibilities, though our parents may not totally agree (money issues here we're talking about).

The few common things that we'd most likely hear from them would be "why can't you save up that money?", "why do you always have to spend away the money once you've got them?" "why can't you prioritise the important things that you need done with that money?"

Mind you, we're a bunch of 24, 25, 26 year olds and hearing them say things like that would make one think we're a bunch of brainless demented idiots. Of course, they do have their points and they're just worried for us, but I do believe we're mature enough to know not to do things that we can't afford and that the more important things comes first (whatever that alludes to).

Last night while having dinner, my father asked me this question,
"Why do you always have to go for trips? Why can't you cut down on your activities? Why did you go for karaoke the other night? What kind of celebration were you having?"

I was dumbfounded for a moment because my father has never asked me questions like that before, and even if he did it was very very rare. Those questions would usually come from my mother. The thing about me is that I have little or no tolerance for interrogations and nags from my parents. But throughout the years I've learned to mellow down my temper. So after digesting the questions I said to him

"Well Pa, I love to travel and to see things but my last name's not Hilton nor Trump and I can't afford to go overseas occassionally for holidays so I settled with going interstates. Not forgetting also I have REAL jobs so its nice to go for a short holiday once in a while. I went Karaoke not because we had any celebration but because I wanted so much to be a famous singer but I know I can't because I don't have famous parents to help me so going for Karaoke is the only way of fulfilling my dreams by imagining myself with ecstatic fans going crazy over my beautiful voice"

So I thought that would've been the end of the story but I should've learned by now that once my parents start, they can't stop.

Then he said to me "Do you even read? Why can't you start reading self-help books?. You should start to read books like 'The 7 habits of a highly successful man' or books about famous CEOs"

For one, I love reading and I spend alot on books. I read alot of autobiographies, memoirs, business and psychology books. My father however, believes that these books are not contributing to my intellect and career and if I start reading books like "The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People" or the "Rich Dad, Poor Dad SERIES" will definitely make me the next Donald Trump (Female Version).

He believed that one of the reasons why I'm not succesful (I only graduated in 2005) is because I don't read those books. He actually said this

"You know why my ex boss's son is so succesful at such a young age? Because he reads those kind of book. And alot of successful businessmen reads those books. You know why I didn't become successful? Because I didn't read those books"

HaHaHa I seriously think it is a funny comment. How could a 60 year old man say that he did not become successful because he did not follow the footsteps of businessmen by reading those books. How does anyone justify that? So by reading books like that we would become successful? So if I read more psychological related books I'll become a famous psychiatrist? Or better still if I read more books about famous singers I'm going to be a famous superstar?

Funny how fathers can be sometimes. Maybe because my father is too bored at home with no one to challenge him and to stimulate his mind he gets all these weird thinking playing in his mind. Which, I think is why his eldest child gets sudden spasm attacks especially during work.

What is then a daughter to do but to listen to the advice. So I've decided to go to the bookstore and buy myself a copy of "Learning to Sing" written by Clay Aiken and I'm pretty sure in no time my album's going to hit the billboard. After all, parents are always right aren't they?

The Hanger-Shaped-Shoulder Man

When I was a child, my mother used to talk to me about responsibilities. Unfortunately for me, being the eldest child with a down syndrome brother and a sister 8 years my junior I will have to care and provide for them when I'm older. She has always reminded me about these responsibilities throughout the years of my life and emphasised alot on me giving the family a minimum of RMxxx to RMxxxx. I could say then these sense of responsibilities has been implanted in me ever since young. I am very well aware that I am responsibile for everything that I do and that I am also responsible for others.

What I do not understand is, how is it that a woman like me and I'm sure many others can learn the value and sense of responsibility and yet a man cannot. Countless times I've met men who runs away from responsibilities, be it work, play or emotions. The typical irresposible men I've learned to define are those who:

- very quickly blame others once they sense something is not right (no shortage of these men at my work place)
- extremely defensive of themselves
- have no thoughts about their own actions, what they say and how others feel and think
- deliberately put others down in front of other people to feed their ego, confidence and self-esteem (i conclude that people who does this all the time suffers a form of complex labeled as the Inferior Complex)
- talks too loud, brags too much, extremely bossy and declares themselves as jack of all trades
- at work, pawn their responsibility off on overworked colleagues or staff, hoping their talent will cover for their glaring ineptitude.

Men like these I would say are the worst kind ever. It makes you wonder if they would ever succeed in life. After several unsuccesful attempts of trying to teach them a thing or two about responsibilities I realise that these people do not learn. And they do not even think its an issue in their life. And so next time, to save ourselves from getting all worked up because of them, minimize all contact. Saves everyone time and oxygen.

By the way, just in case anyone's wondering about the title, my mother has told me quite a few times that one of the ways of detecting an irresponsible man from afar is the shape of their shoulder. If it slides down and shaped like a hanger, stay clear. Not sure bout the accuracy, but better be safe than sorry, no?