Wednesday, July 12, 2006
What's Left of Before
So as you can see those blogs are from '04 - '05 when I was still a student in Adelaide. Now I'm back and this blog's gonna revolve around my work, my friends, my family, my thoughts and the drama that unfolds every single day.
A Beautiful Love Story - not for the weak heart Jun 6, '05 3:48 AM
let me tell you a story I once heard - a spanish love story. I don't know where or not its true - I'd like to think it is - but I'll tell it to u anyway.
many years ago, when the sun burned orange all day and the night was wet with the smell of green moss and summer, two young Spanish lovers met in a little fishing village. each day they would walk, barefoot along the great winding dust road, and they would buy bread from the old merchant with the crooked smile. they would sit beneath the old olive tree and would talk and laugh and warm their faces in the sun. it was beneath this olive tree that Pedro first kissed Esmirada.
they shared their dreams with each other - Esmirada wanted to study art in Italy and one day become a famous artist. Pedro spoke of becoming the welathiest man in Spain. but they were young. and when the time came for esmirada to go off ans study, she refused to leave.
her love had grown so strong, she told Pedro, the she feared leaving him for even a moment would surely destroy her. they held each other beneath the olive tree and they wept.the next day, Esmirada waited for Pedro on the hill above the dirt road but he never came. nor did he come the next day, or the day after that....
Esmirada was heartbroken. although she searched for Pedro for many days, she never found him. she wrote to him. he never replied. Devastated, she left for Italy.
esmirada studied for several years and became a sulptor. she sculptet many fine pieces but her most cherished creation was a replica of the old olive tree she knew as a girl. she eventually became famous and at her first big international exhibition, the olive tree was sold for a large sum of money. the design was so special that many art collectors wanted Esmirada to create olive trees for their own collections. but she never sculpted another one. it was a one-off, she said.
forty years passed and Esmirada retired a wealthy and succesful artist. she married and had many children and lived in a beautiful house. Sometimes, she would think back to those warm afternoons under the olive tree, and from time to time she would wonder. then one day, she received a letter. it was from attorneys of Pedro Bandidas saying he had passed away. in his will, he had stipulated that his entire estate would be left to her. attached was a short letter that read:
"To my dear Esmirada, I became what i always dreamed I would. I am a man of greath wealth, perhaps even the richest man in Spain. My fortune is greater than any man could ever dream of and I leave it all to you - my one and only true love."
so Esmirada made the trip to Spain. She travelled to the little fishing village and walked barefoot along the great winding dust road. She bought a loaf of bread from the old merchant's store, but the old merchant had long since died. she sat beneath the old olive tree and turned her face to the sun. and she drank in the air.
Afterwards she got a driver to take her to the address she been given. before her stood a beautiful mansion. she entered and, finidng the palatial home full of Persian carpets and ornate paintings and gold trimmings, she felt her heart break for the second time.
esmirada was greeted by a man who told her, "I am the brother of Pedro. I am sorry if you have made this long journey in search of welath. My brother was a foolish man and you have abviously been led astray. he did not own this opulent home - I do. He was a poor man, he had no money. he sold what little possessions he had many years ago and all he had to show for it were the contents of this box."
And he showed her to a tall cardboard box sitting in a corner of the room gathering dust. "But he said in his letter that he was a man of greath wealth." esmirada whispered to no one in particular.
she opened the box and found a note inside. it read:
"To my dear Esmirada.To experience true love - whether it's long lasting or just for a fleeting moment - is to find eternal wealth."
And it was signed :
"From the world's richest man.
The note had was attached to a sculpted olive tree that had once belonged to a Spanish man who had sold off all his worldly possesions to buy it more than 40 years before.
many years ago, when the sun burned orange all day and the night was wet with the smell of green moss and summer, two young Spanish lovers met in a little fishing village. each day they would walk, barefoot along the great winding dust road, and they would buy bread from the old merchant with the crooked smile. they would sit beneath the old olive tree and would talk and laugh and warm their faces in the sun. it was beneath this olive tree that Pedro first kissed Esmirada.
they shared their dreams with each other - Esmirada wanted to study art in Italy and one day become a famous artist. Pedro spoke of becoming the welathiest man in Spain. but they were young. and when the time came for esmirada to go off ans study, she refused to leave.
her love had grown so strong, she told Pedro, the she feared leaving him for even a moment would surely destroy her. they held each other beneath the olive tree and they wept.the next day, Esmirada waited for Pedro on the hill above the dirt road but he never came. nor did he come the next day, or the day after that....
Esmirada was heartbroken. although she searched for Pedro for many days, she never found him. she wrote to him. he never replied. Devastated, she left for Italy.
esmirada studied for several years and became a sulptor. she sculptet many fine pieces but her most cherished creation was a replica of the old olive tree she knew as a girl. she eventually became famous and at her first big international exhibition, the olive tree was sold for a large sum of money. the design was so special that many art collectors wanted Esmirada to create olive trees for their own collections. but she never sculpted another one. it was a one-off, she said.
forty years passed and Esmirada retired a wealthy and succesful artist. she married and had many children and lived in a beautiful house. Sometimes, she would think back to those warm afternoons under the olive tree, and from time to time she would wonder. then one day, she received a letter. it was from attorneys of Pedro Bandidas saying he had passed away. in his will, he had stipulated that his entire estate would be left to her. attached was a short letter that read:
"To my dear Esmirada, I became what i always dreamed I would. I am a man of greath wealth, perhaps even the richest man in Spain. My fortune is greater than any man could ever dream of and I leave it all to you - my one and only true love."
so Esmirada made the trip to Spain. She travelled to the little fishing village and walked barefoot along the great winding dust road. She bought a loaf of bread from the old merchant's store, but the old merchant had long since died. she sat beneath the old olive tree and turned her face to the sun. and she drank in the air.
Afterwards she got a driver to take her to the address she been given. before her stood a beautiful mansion. she entered and, finidng the palatial home full of Persian carpets and ornate paintings and gold trimmings, she felt her heart break for the second time.
esmirada was greeted by a man who told her, "I am the brother of Pedro. I am sorry if you have made this long journey in search of welath. My brother was a foolish man and you have abviously been led astray. he did not own this opulent home - I do. He was a poor man, he had no money. he sold what little possessions he had many years ago and all he had to show for it were the contents of this box."
And he showed her to a tall cardboard box sitting in a corner of the room gathering dust. "But he said in his letter that he was a man of greath wealth." esmirada whispered to no one in particular.
she opened the box and found a note inside. it read:
"To my dear Esmirada.To experience true love - whether it's long lasting or just for a fleeting moment - is to find eternal wealth."
And it was signed :
"From the world's richest man.
The note had was attached to a sculpted olive tree that had once belonged to a Spanish man who had sold off all his worldly possesions to buy it more than 40 years before.
The Ultimate Sacrifice Jun 6, '05 3:06 AM
Linda literally gave herself away. Linda was an outstanding teacher who felt that if she had the time, she would like to create great art and poetry. when she was 28, however, she began to get severe headaches. her doctors discovered that she had an enormous brain tumour. they told her that her chances of surviving an operation were about 2 percent. therefore, rather than operate immediately, they chose to wait for six months.
she knew she had great artistry in her. so druing those six months she wrote and drew feverishly. all of her poetry, except one piece, was published in magazines. all of her art, except one piece, was shown and sold at some of the leading galleries.
at the end of six months, she had the operation. the night before the operation she decided to literally give herself away. in case of her death, she wrote a "will" in which she donated all of her body parts to those who needed them more than she would.
unfortunately, linda's operation was fatal. subsequently, her eyes went to an eye bank and from there went to a recipient. a young man, age 28, went from darkness to sight. that young man was so profoundly grateful that he wrote to the eye bank thanking them for existing. furthermore he said he wanted to thank the parents of the donor. they must indeed be magnificent folks to have a child who would give aways her eyes. he was given the name of the family and decided to see them. he arrived unannounced and rang the doorbell. after hearing his introduction, linda's mum reached out and embraced him. she said' young man, if you've got nowhere to go, my husband and I would love for u to spend your weekend with us".
he stayed, and as he was looking around linda's room, he saw that she's read plato. he'd read plato in Braille. she's read Hegel. he'd read Hegel in Braille.
the next morning Linda's mum was looking at him and said, 'you know, i'm sure i've seen you somewhere before, but i don't know where'. all of a sudden she remembered. she ran upstairs and pulled out the last picture linda had ever drawn. it was portrait of her ideal man.
the picture was virtually identical to this young man who had received linda's eyes. then her mum read the last poem linda had written on her deathbed. it read
Two hearts passing in the night
falling in love
never able to gain each other's sight.
she knew she had great artistry in her. so druing those six months she wrote and drew feverishly. all of her poetry, except one piece, was published in magazines. all of her art, except one piece, was shown and sold at some of the leading galleries.
at the end of six months, she had the operation. the night before the operation she decided to literally give herself away. in case of her death, she wrote a "will" in which she donated all of her body parts to those who needed them more than she would.
unfortunately, linda's operation was fatal. subsequently, her eyes went to an eye bank and from there went to a recipient. a young man, age 28, went from darkness to sight. that young man was so profoundly grateful that he wrote to the eye bank thanking them for existing. furthermore he said he wanted to thank the parents of the donor. they must indeed be magnificent folks to have a child who would give aways her eyes. he was given the name of the family and decided to see them. he arrived unannounced and rang the doorbell. after hearing his introduction, linda's mum reached out and embraced him. she said' young man, if you've got nowhere to go, my husband and I would love for u to spend your weekend with us".
he stayed, and as he was looking around linda's room, he saw that she's read plato. he'd read plato in Braille. she's read Hegel. he'd read Hegel in Braille.
the next morning Linda's mum was looking at him and said, 'you know, i'm sure i've seen you somewhere before, but i don't know where'. all of a sudden she remembered. she ran upstairs and pulled out the last picture linda had ever drawn. it was portrait of her ideal man.
the picture was virtually identical to this young man who had received linda's eyes. then her mum read the last poem linda had written on her deathbed. it read
Two hearts passing in the night
falling in love
never able to gain each other's sight.
Bliss.... Mar 22, '05 5:28 AM
Tuesday morning twilight. 1 person. 1 glass. Half a bottle of beautiful red wine. Aahhh Life is Beautiful.....*hiccup*
Leaving on Virgin Blue..... Mar 2, '05 4:18 AM
A new chapter is now beginning in my life. Soon has left for sydney and he'll be there till the end of the year. I'll only see him once more in april for graduation and then i won't be seeing him anymore unless he goes back to malaysia at the end of the year. I'm beginning to feel like I'm embracing a whole new experience. Ever since our college years we've been inseperable. though it might have only been 5 years, I feel like I've known him all my life. The quality of time we spent together can never be compared to anything. it has reached to the point where he's like my own blood...my twin. He's the only one whom i can turn to when anything happens. the only who truly understands how i feel and what i'm thinking. he's my shoulder to cry on, my pillow when i sleep at night, my heart, my soul.........my life support. we've been living for nearly 2 years together and we've never been apart for so long. he's become a part of my life, someone i can't live without. I feel like I'm standing all alone.....in the middle of a place full of people walking about but i don't know which way to go. I feel lost. Its like I've lost my sight. Soon I will be back in Malaysia, without him for the first time, having to adapt to the new changes all over again. Though Malaysia is my home, and though it might have only been 2 years, I've already given my self to Australia.... to their lifestyle, to their culture and to their rituals. I came to this strange place with Soon beside me....the both of us....embracing this new world. but now...he's gone to start a new life of his own...and i know i should to....without him. and I wish him the best in everything.... may he find happiness and i truly love him with all my heart.
how do we say 'no'? Feb 20, '05 10:09 AM
today, as i was in the shower i got to thinking.....after 22 years of living in a world where its only normal to being selfish and unaffected by emotional responsibilities, i still can't say 'no'. not that i can't say it literally...but i just can't say it to a favor. no matter how reluctant i am or how absurd the favor might be...i still can't say it! i'd always say yes...and then blame myself for being so weak and not being able to stand up! everytime i said 'no' i'd feel so guilty and then imagine how i'd feel if i were to ask someone a favor and they rejected me. not that i'm not willing to help...but sometimes these favors are ridiculous! and i know they ask me because they know i can't say 'no'! but then i thought again....not only can i not say 'no' to favors...i can't say 'no' to anything! its like i'm born a 'yes' person. 'gigi, can u do this for me, can u do that for me, can u carry this for me, can u hold that for me, can u drive me here, can u drive me there, can u get me this, can u get me that, can u blah blah blah and everything and anything would be a yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!' i can't live through myself for saying no!! but then again, come to think of it...i'm sure there'll be times when i need help...and i'll know for sure its their turn to not able to say 'no'!!
I did a mean thing today.... Jan 21, '05 11:22 PM
Today, I did a very mean thing....It wasn't exactly mean because I have my rights but I just wasn't used to doing it. Just two hours back I went to dominos to get some pizzas. when i got home and opened the box i was very dissappointed because it was so empty. Mind u, I ordered the new chicken alfredo and there are $2 surcharges for it because there were supposed to have more ingredients and the chickens were big pieces of chicken. But what i had was just a few pieces of chicken, some very small pieces of capsicum and some tiny mushroom. there weren't even much cheese on it! When i took a piece and bite on it, it felt like i was eating a flat piece of bread! So, I took the pizza, drove back up to dominos and told them to replace it. this is the conversation
me: Hi, i'm sorry but i'm not very satisfied with the pizza. its so empty. when i ate it, it felt like i ate nothing. when i ordered it the last time there were more chicken and more stuffs on it. this is....its not a pizza...
1st domino guy: oh is it? ermm...wait i'll just check with my colleague(he took the pizza show it to his colleague, spoke for a few minutes and then another girl came back with my pizza)
2nd domino girl: excuse me, erm...the pizza is not empty.
me (half raising my voice): huh? Look....there aren't many chicken on it, there weren't much stuffs on it. i can practically count the capsicum and the chicken. when i ordered it the last time it has more stuffs on it! I'm not satisfied with it!(domino girl still wouldn't nudge. and just looked at me)
me: And the box said if i wasn't satisfied i can replace it! (at this point i felt like slapping her because she was gaving me 'attitude')
2nd domino girl: yeah right ok....i'll replace it for you.(and just walked away)Aarrghhh of all the nerves! So I just left and waited in the car. 15 minutes later 1st domino guy came out with my pizza and apologized. The result? Look at the pic...
Be my friend....and I will be yours..... Jan 18, '05 10:22 PM
Sometimes I think to myself if true friends are really that hard to find? What happens when u honestly and sincerely be-friend someone but they do not want your friendship? Sometimes i think it was me, who brought it all upon myself. What is the point of being nice and truthful to someone when they are not truthful to u? why do people wear masks everyday and embrace it like it is their true self? But i guess the world isn't a fair plase is it? Being nice to others does not neccesarily mean they have to be nice to you. But as long as I have done my part...I am proud of myself......
What do u do?? Jan 15, '05 6:22 AM
What do u do, when u try to reach out to someone, and they block u away? What do u do, when u try all u can to understand them, and they just avoid u? what do u do, when u sincerely care for someone, and they just reject u? what do u do, when u take ur heart out and they just push it aside? what do u do, when u love someone with all u have, in the name of friendship, and they just ignore u? what can u do, but to wait, and let them know, u'll always be there, by their side, to care, support and encourage them in whatever they do, and will never give up hope on them. only hoping that they will realize, appreciate and open themselves up again to u....
The heartache, The heartbreak.... Jan 4, '05 10:37 PM
Sometimes I wonder, if love really is such a big problem in one's life? Why do we always get affected with love problems or relationship problems like its the end of the world? There are worse things in life and yet it still does not hurt us as much as love does. wht is this thing here that plays such great importance in one's life?
I've just witnessed one of the funniest 'love story' and I find it absurd that anyone involved in it should feel any sadness or be so affected by it that they are ignoring other important stuffs in their life. Its like one of those teenage love stories we watch on movie and I'm not saying that young kids can't understand love but do they actually know how to handle it? Do they expect to be together forever with the love that they've found? Do teenagers actually understand what love is? What is their definition of love? do their love involve just seeing each other, being together and the feeling of 'cant-live-without-u'?
I have noticed heaps of kids reckon they are in love when they assume they can't live without one another. and then they torture themselves with drinking and smoking once they are faced with a tiny problem. it is true that love is one important part of one's life, it is only a part. one small important part amongst other things. its not the end of the world even if we've lost it....when that piece of puzzle is missing something else will replace it. even if we do think its the end of the world, never fear, give it some time and I believe it will eventually come back whole new!
I've just witnessed one of the funniest 'love story' and I find it absurd that anyone involved in it should feel any sadness or be so affected by it that they are ignoring other important stuffs in their life. Its like one of those teenage love stories we watch on movie and I'm not saying that young kids can't understand love but do they actually know how to handle it? Do they expect to be together forever with the love that they've found? Do teenagers actually understand what love is? What is their definition of love? do their love involve just seeing each other, being together and the feeling of 'cant-live-without-u'?
I have noticed heaps of kids reckon they are in love when they assume they can't live without one another. and then they torture themselves with drinking and smoking once they are faced with a tiny problem. it is true that love is one important part of one's life, it is only a part. one small important part amongst other things. its not the end of the world even if we've lost it....when that piece of puzzle is missing something else will replace it. even if we do think its the end of the world, never fear, give it some time and I believe it will eventually come back whole new!
Its NudEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee Time!!!!! Dec 26, '04 11:52 PM
Imagine yourself at a beautiful beach....with white sands and clear blue sea......and you're surrounded by different kinds of penises. Hahahaah what a way to start a day! Went to Maslin Beach yesterday and half of the beach is a nude beach and the other half is not. So, we decided we're gonna be hanging at the nude half! Hahahah there were heaps of penises and very little breasts. I wouldn't mind them if they were not old and ugly! hahahaha there are some which are wrinkly, some too dark, some too short, some extremely long, some like nothing and some with too long a forsekin!! hahahahahaha it was hillarious! the most ridiculous thing is there was this guy sitting 6 feet away from us and he was having a hard on!! and he was touching it! hahahaahaha he was really fair and he had a pink penis. it was so funny!! I went sun tanning and instead of having a lovely bronze I'm now an ugly black! So much for sun
I Am Sad....... Nov 12, '04 11:45 AM
all of a sudden i feel a longing for him..... all this while i've been going fine, going strong and suddenly it just hit me. seems like i've been lying to myself all this while....hiding away....not daring to confront my own feelings. i just feel like i need to cry....cry my heart out.....its been a long time since i really cried. i wish i knew what was going on in his mind. i wish i knew what he was doing. the yearn for him is so strong it aches just to even think of him. there are so many questions that i have no answers to. all the time, i kept pushing all my thoughts and feelings away.....covering myself up.....trying to shift my mind to other things. people keep telling me im not made of steel..... that i should accept the fact that i am very much affected by it. that i am SAD. yes...that word. SAD. I am so sad. So Very Sad. Now I can truly understand why people keep saying that my smile and my laughter is not sincere. That its a hard laugh and a stiff smile. I should learn to accept it.....this sadness.....this sadness which is torturing me....which is making my heart sour.....I Am So Sad.
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break my heart so bad
How could the one who made me happy
Make me feel so sad
Won't somebody tell me
So I can understand
If you love me
How could you hurt me like that
How could the one I gave my world to
Throw my world away
How could the one who said "I love you"Say the things you say
How could the one I was so true to
Just tell me lies
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break this heart of mine
Tell me...
How could you be so cold to me
When I gave you everything
All my love
All I had inside
How could you just walk out the door
How could you not love me anymore
I thought we had foreverI can't understand
How could the one I shared my dreams with
Take my dreams from me
How could the love that brought such pleasure
Bring such misery
Won't somebody tell me
Somebody tell me please
If you love me
How could you do that to me
Tell me...
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break my heart so bad
How could the one who made me happy
Make me feel so sad
Won't somebody tell me
So I can understand
If you love me
How could you hurt me like that
How could the one I gave my world to
Throw my world away
How could the one who said "I love you"Say the things you say
How could the one I was so true to
Just tell me lies
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break this heart of mine
Tell me...
How could you be so cold to me
When I gave you everything
All my love
All I had inside
How could you just walk out the door
How could you not love me anymore
I thought we had foreverI can't understand
How could the one I shared my dreams with
Take my dreams from me
How could the love that brought such pleasure
Bring such misery
Won't somebody tell me
Somebody tell me please
If you love me
How could you do that to me
Tell me...
Donation Time.......... Nov 1, '04 12:03 PM
I had the most embarassing moment in my life today when i was doing some blood donation. It all started when I've finally decided I was gonna donate my blood today because I've got the car for the week (Ying's car cause they've gone back to Malaysia to attend a wedding).
I've been putting off donating blood because I kept having to wait till Ying's free to take me to the centre and then have to make sure I'm not doing anything and she's not doing anything as well and so yeah...I've finally managed to get it done today!
Eversince I donated a couple of times in Malaysia I've begun to feel addicted to donating blood. It gives me the hype....hahah I'm weird.
So Anyway, I went to the red cross centre, filled up the forms, and then there's this guy there who'll make sure u drink heaps of water or juice (they've got a juice machine there where u can drink for free....apple or orange....your choice.....cool eh?), and then he'll have to interview the donors before they can actually donate.
So, he took me to a room did some blood test and found out my haemoglobin is on the minimum scale....which means I need more iron on my blood, then asked a couple more questions and at the same time forcing me to drink more water and then after that took me to the donation room. It's a fairly huge room with a lot chairs for donors to sit while their blood are slowly being sucked out. Hahaha I'm such a drama queen.
As I was saying, alot of the donors are middle aged women and men and me and Ricky were the only young ones there and right after the blood bag is filled up, that's when it all begans. I was sitting on a reclining chair during the donation and when I was done the nurse put the chair back to its upright position and immediately I began to feel dizzy and hot. The nurse was asking if i felt dizzy and I said yes and then she quickly put the chair back down asking me to lie down and then!!!!!! she took 5 pieces of really cold cloth...put one on my forehead, put two on each of my hands and then used a really big Chinese traditional fan where we used to hang on the walls for decoration and started fanning me.
It was so embarassing because all these middle aged people around me were like getting up and going straight after they've finished and they were looking at me with the look that says "Look at how weak this young lady is". And with all the cloths around me I look like a mummy! And then I had to go use the toilet because I had so much water and the nurse was holding me and slowly taking me to the toilet and was waiting for me outside the toilet!
when I came out all the people were looking at me like I'm some kind of useless person. the nurse was really great, treating me like i'm a queen or something, making sure I've rest enough before letting me go, making sure I eat something there before I leave.....sigh...... it proves how weak I've become every since coming to Aus..... and you'd think I should be even stronger with all the good food, wine and the size I've grown into......I've never had this prob when I donated blood in Malaysia. But anyhow, I'm still gonna do it again 3 months later.....but this time I'll make sure I eat heaps of healthy food, eat heaps of iron and drink heaps of water! There u have it!
I've been putting off donating blood because I kept having to wait till Ying's free to take me to the centre and then have to make sure I'm not doing anything and she's not doing anything as well and so yeah...I've finally managed to get it done today!
Eversince I donated a couple of times in Malaysia I've begun to feel addicted to donating blood. It gives me the hype....hahah I'm weird.
So Anyway, I went to the red cross centre, filled up the forms, and then there's this guy there who'll make sure u drink heaps of water or juice (they've got a juice machine there where u can drink for free....apple or orange....your choice.....cool eh?), and then he'll have to interview the donors before they can actually donate.
So, he took me to a room did some blood test and found out my haemoglobin is on the minimum scale....which means I need more iron on my blood, then asked a couple more questions and at the same time forcing me to drink more water and then after that took me to the donation room. It's a fairly huge room with a lot chairs for donors to sit while their blood are slowly being sucked out. Hahaha I'm such a drama queen.
As I was saying, alot of the donors are middle aged women and men and me and Ricky were the only young ones there and right after the blood bag is filled up, that's when it all begans. I was sitting on a reclining chair during the donation and when I was done the nurse put the chair back to its upright position and immediately I began to feel dizzy and hot. The nurse was asking if i felt dizzy and I said yes and then she quickly put the chair back down asking me to lie down and then!!!!!! she took 5 pieces of really cold cloth...put one on my forehead, put two on each of my hands and then used a really big Chinese traditional fan where we used to hang on the walls for decoration and started fanning me.
It was so embarassing because all these middle aged people around me were like getting up and going straight after they've finished and they were looking at me with the look that says "Look at how weak this young lady is". And with all the cloths around me I look like a mummy! And then I had to go use the toilet because I had so much water and the nurse was holding me and slowly taking me to the toilet and was waiting for me outside the toilet!
when I came out all the people were looking at me like I'm some kind of useless person. the nurse was really great, treating me like i'm a queen or something, making sure I've rest enough before letting me go, making sure I eat something there before I leave.....sigh...... it proves how weak I've become every since coming to Aus..... and you'd think I should be even stronger with all the good food, wine and the size I've grown into......I've never had this prob when I donated blood in Malaysia. But anyhow, I'm still gonna do it again 3 months later.....but this time I'll make sure I eat heaps of healthy food, eat heaps of iron and drink heaps of water! There u have it!
Just like any other day....... Oct 7, '04 11:56 PM
Today is a boring day. Got up at 10.45 when Ying called and said she's just right outside my house. Hahaha we had a tutorial at 11 and that leaves me with 15 minutes to get ready and be there.
When I got out of my room to check if Soon is awake (we have all the same classes), I saw that he's actually doing a 'big business' in the toilet. So told him to hurry up cause Ying is outside and blah blah blah. Went to class and after class went and collect my Psych Report on Porcellio Scabers. I actually got a Credit!!! I couldn't believe it because I didn't really put much effort on it and I thought I was only gonna get a Pass. So well then that's one good piece of news for the day.
Then went to see Lyn my course coordinator for Social Psych cause I needed an extension for the assignment I'm working on at the moment. It is so tough!! I don't usually take extensions and this is actually the first time I'm getting one because I know I won't be able to finish it by today. So I've got extension till Monday.
Not feeling too good at the moment because its the time of the month. Pretty hungry but I've got no appetite and I'm too lazy to cook. I reckon I'm just gonna go into the kitchen and see what I have in the cupboard.
Oh and one more thing. The day I came back from Sydney, Soon wanted to wash all our dirty clothes. When he went into the laundry room he saw that our laundry detergeant has finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The BLOODY PIG used up all our laundry detergeant and he didn't even bother getting a new one!!!! What an Idiot!! I've never met anyone as terrible as him. No wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend and no friends!!! I know I'm mean by saying this but I really can't stand him anymore!!!!!!HOW STUPID!!
When I got out of my room to check if Soon is awake (we have all the same classes), I saw that he's actually doing a 'big business' in the toilet. So told him to hurry up cause Ying is outside and blah blah blah. Went to class and after class went and collect my Psych Report on Porcellio Scabers. I actually got a Credit!!! I couldn't believe it because I didn't really put much effort on it and I thought I was only gonna get a Pass. So well then that's one good piece of news for the day.
Then went to see Lyn my course coordinator for Social Psych cause I needed an extension for the assignment I'm working on at the moment. It is so tough!! I don't usually take extensions and this is actually the first time I'm getting one because I know I won't be able to finish it by today. So I've got extension till Monday.
Not feeling too good at the moment because its the time of the month. Pretty hungry but I've got no appetite and I'm too lazy to cook. I reckon I'm just gonna go into the kitchen and see what I have in the cupboard.
Oh and one more thing. The day I came back from Sydney, Soon wanted to wash all our dirty clothes. When he went into the laundry room he saw that our laundry detergeant has finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The BLOODY PIG used up all our laundry detergeant and he didn't even bother getting a new one!!!! What an Idiot!! I've never met anyone as terrible as him. No wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend and no friends!!! I know I'm mean by saying this but I really can't stand him anymore!!!!!!HOW STUPID!!
Home Terrible Home~! Oct 6, '04 3:13 AM
WoOoHoOo~! Back finally from Sydney! I'm now so exhausted I just wanna lie down and do nothing at all. All of us were supposed to get up at 4.30am because our flight was at 6.55am but everyone was soooooooooo tired we overslept and got up only at 5.45!!! It was so funny because everyone was running around like mad panicking and I still can't believe the four of us managed to get ready by 6.00!!!! Only took us 15 minutes!!!! Hahahah! Had a fantastic time in Sydney but I still prefer Adelaide. The people over in Sydney are so rude!!! They do not smile, they do not greet, and they have no basic manners!!! Especially the Asians there!! They act like uncivilized and uneducated people! Compared to Adeliade, the people here are heapsssssssss good! Everyone's friendly to everyone! They smile, they greet and everyone are like friends to everyone. Lingy was saying the more she travelled around Oz the more she loves Adelaide. It was one of the nicest places in whole of Oz.
So, now I'm gonna go back to The Pig! As soon as I got down from the cab and stepped into the house, I already feel like I wanna kill him!!! Before I left for Sydney I've cleared the rubbish, wash all the dishes and cleaned up everything in the house. When I got back and went into the kitchen I feel like I just wanna move out from the house on the spot! Plates were all over the sink, there are stains of condensed milk and coffee in the sink and it has already dried up!! And the rubbish!! Oh my god! I've been gone for six days and the rubbish bin is now full and he still didn't clear it off!!! Imagine the stench!!! 6 days!!! Imagine all the food he has dumped inside and has now rot! I'm not going to clear it off for him. I'm just gonna wait till he cleared it off. 1 week or 2 weeks I DON'T CARE!! AARRGHHHH~!!!!!
My brains are not functioning well yet actually because of the hang over. Had so much alchohol last night I still had the smell on me when I went on the plane. Me and Soon spent more than $100 on alchohol and that is alotttttt considering the alchohol are so damn cheap here. Soon was saying people like us are labeled as 'Expensive Drunk' because we had so much and we still weren't drunk! We started drinking from 5.30pm all the way through till 2 in the morning and we were still walking straight! But it was dreadful on the plane because of the alchohol and my bones were aching like shit.
I've still got my assignment to finish up because I didn't manage to finish it before I left for Sydney. I'll probably try to finish it tonight but I doubt I'll be able to. I'm gonna sign off now and try to work on it. Cheerios~!
So, now I'm gonna go back to The Pig! As soon as I got down from the cab and stepped into the house, I already feel like I wanna kill him!!! Before I left for Sydney I've cleared the rubbish, wash all the dishes and cleaned up everything in the house. When I got back and went into the kitchen I feel like I just wanna move out from the house on the spot! Plates were all over the sink, there are stains of condensed milk and coffee in the sink and it has already dried up!! And the rubbish!! Oh my god! I've been gone for six days and the rubbish bin is now full and he still didn't clear it off!!! Imagine the stench!!! 6 days!!! Imagine all the food he has dumped inside and has now rot! I'm not going to clear it off for him. I'm just gonna wait till he cleared it off. 1 week or 2 weeks I DON'T CARE!! AARRGHHHH~!!!!!
My brains are not functioning well yet actually because of the hang over. Had so much alchohol last night I still had the smell on me when I went on the plane. Me and Soon spent more than $100 on alchohol and that is alotttttt considering the alchohol are so damn cheap here. Soon was saying people like us are labeled as 'Expensive Drunk' because we had so much and we still weren't drunk! We started drinking from 5.30pm all the way through till 2 in the morning and we were still walking straight! But it was dreadful on the plane because of the alchohol and my bones were aching like shit.
I've still got my assignment to finish up because I didn't manage to finish it before I left for Sydney. I'll probably try to finish it tonight but I doubt I'll be able to. I'm gonna sign off now and try to work on it. Cheerios~!
Wishes Do Not Come Easily....... Sep 26, '04 1:51 PM
Sometimes I wish, I could be just like those simple little girls, whose dream is to have a simple job, marry a simple man, and lead a simple life.
Sometimes I wish, I could be those silly little girls, who would give up everything for Love. Sometimes I wish, I would not have such big ambitions, not such complicated thinking, not such great expectations, not such high requirements.
I wish I would not be so strong. I wish I would not be so tough. I wish i could show my emotions as easy as any other girls could.
I wish my tears could fall as easy the rain.
I wish we didn't have waited. I wish we could have been cruel to be kind. I wish i didn't have sacrificed so much. I wish I wouldn't have cared so much.
I wish you would have stood up for yourself.
I wish you could have decided your own destiny. I wish you would have thought for yourself. I wish you would be a man for once.
I wish I could think with my heart and not my head. I wish you would not make me choose. I wish I could have chosen you. I wish my career would not have come first.
I wish things would not turn this way........I wish my wishes would come trues......but wishes.....they do not come easily....
Sometimes I wish, I could be those silly little girls, who would give up everything for Love. Sometimes I wish, I would not have such big ambitions, not such complicated thinking, not such great expectations, not such high requirements.
I wish I would not be so strong. I wish I would not be so tough. I wish i could show my emotions as easy as any other girls could.
I wish my tears could fall as easy the rain.
I wish we didn't have waited. I wish we could have been cruel to be kind. I wish i didn't have sacrificed so much. I wish I wouldn't have cared so much.
I wish you would have stood up for yourself.
I wish you could have decided your own destiny. I wish you would have thought for yourself. I wish you would be a man for once.
I wish I could think with my heart and not my head. I wish you would not make me choose. I wish I could have chosen you. I wish my career would not have come first.
I wish things would not turn this way........I wish my wishes would come trues......but wishes.....they do not come easily....
The Pig Continues...... Sep 23, '04 12:34 PM
So ok.... Was talking to Guava this afternoon and she was asking me to write more stuffs on The Pig. The thing is, nothing much happened and there's nothing interesting to write about. Well actually there is...but its nothing big really. But anyhow, I'll just write it down.
So the first thing.... we were supposed to pay our rent on Tuesday but he said he hasn't got the cash yet and he'd get it from the ATM that night. So I said alright because our landlord wasn't free anyway to collect the rent on Tuesday. So then the next day, because I was going out I reckon I'd just bring the rent over to her instead of her coming over.
Then I asked him for the money and he actually had the nerve to tell me he doesn't have it. I mean, Hello!! I've already asked it from him on Tuesday night and he promise he'd get it and now he's telling me he doesn't have it! So I just said I'd pay it for him first because I had the cash at the moment and again he said he'd get the money for me that night. And guess what??!?! He came home that night and pretended like nothing happened and totally forgot about the rent!!
What pisses me off is not the money. Its actually his attitude!! He is so damn irresponsible!! He always have to borrow money from us to pay the rent because he used up all his money on horse racing. He gambles so much he even had no money to eat!!! And he actually gets paid at least $700 a week from his work!! Imagine how much he spent on gambling!
So the second thing. I woke up this afternoon and was planning to make some lunch. So when I went into the kitchen I saw something that made me so annoyed!! A dirty plate was in the sink and it was him who had used it!! And then!!!!! I saw MY POT on the sink as well like as if it had been washed!!! He made those dry instant noodles and he thought because there was no oil on the pot he did not need to wash the pot. He just threw those water from the noodles away and just rinse it with water! When I lifted the pot up, I actually found traces of the noodles on the Pot!!!! AAARRGHHHHH!!! I'm going to go crazy soon!!! And why can't he just bloody use his own pot~!!!!! Why does he have to use MY Fucking Pot!?!?!? Is it because my pot smells better??? I was so disgusted I had to scrub and scrub and scrub the Pot and wash it with Extremely Hot water. I'm not obssesed with cleanliness but everytime he touches my stuffs I'd feel so disgusted and I'd wash it under Hot water to kill off his germs. Hahahaha.
So back to the plate, its still in the sink. He still hasn't wash it yet and I don't reckon he even remembers his plate there. So I know its gonna stay there for another couple of weeks. He was actually in the kitchen earlier making coffee and I just don't get why he can't wash it!! Also when he finished his noodles and put the plate in the sink, why can't he just wash it there and then? Why does he have to leave it there??? iiissshhh~~!!!!!
Guava was also telling me some stories about housemates from hell. Her friend Jase was telling her about his roommate who shoots everywhere but the toilet. So I was asking her what he meant by 'shoot' and she said he meant pee dan lain-lain. Hahahaha I will not explain what 'dan lain-lain' represents. Everyone can just let their imaginations run wild. So then she said there was this one time when Jase went home, he found his room's door locked and then he could smell something fishy!! Ahahah and I was actually imagining the house full of yellow stains on the walls and ceiling. How psycho can these people get? Imagine them going around the house and marking their territories like dogs, only difference is that dogs uses wee and they use their........So after the conversation I actually thanked God that The Pig doesn't do that. Ehehehe.....Ok, so thats the end of the stories. I'm gonna go work on my assgnmt. THE END.
AAaarrGghhh!!!!!! Sep 21, '04 1:21 PM
Right after writing about The Pig last night, my whole comp crashed!! Soon was saying that I'm getting my Karma for writing bad stuffs about people and posting it on the net. I can't help it!!! I just can't stand it anymore!!
Anyway back to my comp....it seems like I've got this Spyware or something infecting my comp and it was being hacked. I reckon that was what caused the virus and it murdered my beautiful lovely comp. So I'm actually writing this journal using Ken's comp. This is not the first time and I don't reckon its gonna be the last. It always happen to my comp!! I hate it! I have to bloody reformat the whole thing and all my musics, pictures and assignments are all gone! I HATE IT, HATE IT HATE IT!!!
So well since I've already gotten my karma I might as well continue a little about The Pig. Earlier today I was trying to get something which was in his room. His door was closed and he was inside doing something. So I knocked on the door and when he opened the door, I nearly fainted right on the spot!!! The smell that came out from his room was worse than ever!! It was so overwhelming you could actually smelled it 50 miles away! I am not exaggerating!!!! I nearly died! I had to hold my breath all the way while I was talking to him!Words cannot describe what it smelled like. It was the smell of his cigarratte smoke + the smell of his body + the smell of dirty bed sheets and clothes + the smell of a room which doesn't have clean air + all sorts of other things.
Nobody in this world can imagine a smell like that until they smell it themselves. I believe no one can even produce such a fragrantly challenged odour other than him!! I can't believe his dirtiness has reached into that level!! Soon was saying he has now mastered the power of internal strength. Hahahah he is now able to stop his breathing for a long time whenever he is within 200m of The Pig's vicinity. Hahahah He's Da Man!! So I'm going to go practice my power. I'm living in a house where the air is poluted and I do not wish to die young. Signing off now....Cheerios~!
Anyway back to my comp....it seems like I've got this Spyware or something infecting my comp and it was being hacked. I reckon that was what caused the virus and it murdered my beautiful lovely comp. So I'm actually writing this journal using Ken's comp. This is not the first time and I don't reckon its gonna be the last. It always happen to my comp!! I hate it! I have to bloody reformat the whole thing and all my musics, pictures and assignments are all gone! I HATE IT, HATE IT HATE IT!!!
So well since I've already gotten my karma I might as well continue a little about The Pig. Earlier today I was trying to get something which was in his room. His door was closed and he was inside doing something. So I knocked on the door and when he opened the door, I nearly fainted right on the spot!!! The smell that came out from his room was worse than ever!! It was so overwhelming you could actually smelled it 50 miles away! I am not exaggerating!!!! I nearly died! I had to hold my breath all the way while I was talking to him!Words cannot describe what it smelled like. It was the smell of his cigarratte smoke + the smell of his body + the smell of dirty bed sheets and clothes + the smell of a room which doesn't have clean air + all sorts of other things.
Nobody in this world can imagine a smell like that until they smell it themselves. I believe no one can even produce such a fragrantly challenged odour other than him!! I can't believe his dirtiness has reached into that level!! Soon was saying he has now mastered the power of internal strength. Hahahah he is now able to stop his breathing for a long time whenever he is within 200m of The Pig's vicinity. Hahahah He's Da Man!! So I'm going to go practice my power. I'm living in a house where the air is poluted and I do not wish to die young. Signing off now....Cheerios~!
LiFe Is LiKe A BotTle oF Soy ChoCoLate.......... Sep 20, '04 12:23 PM
Well contrary to what i said on saturday night I was not bored!! Although it wasn't some extraordinarily exciting day on Sunday at least I was kept occupied.... I did go swimming but only for an hour because I had to rush back to watch Australian Idol....hahah can't miss even an episode of that! I'm hooked to that show...those contestants are really good!!
Got a message from JN telling me bout her dilemmas with Horse. Seems like he's been lying about being single and etc etc....well at least she realised it now than never.....
Finally my home looks cleaner and smells better!! Not to mention its tidier and neater! The Pig finally decided to move his computer and all his belongings into his own room. Right after moving everything, the whole house looked so much better!! Me and Soon really regretted renting out a room to him.... not that we don't get along or anything like that but he is so damn fucking dirty!!!
I seriously do not understand how a normal person can actually sleep in a room full of plates and bowls that has moulds on it! just right next to the bed!
Ok, let me start with his bad habits and his dirtiness......first, his coffe cup... he has his own white coffee cup in which to drink coffee (duH!), on the first day after drinking the coffee he left it on the table, on the second say he took the same cup and made some coffee in it....bear in mind he did not wash it!. on the third day, he did not wash the cup as well and just used it straight....and so it goes on for maybe 2 weeks.... imagining drinking from the same cup for 2 weeks straight without washing it!! I mean, if its just water it is still acceptable but coffee?!?!!? and his cup was no longer white!! it was brown with all the stains stuck to it not matter how hard u try washing it off!!
Next, the utensils. we share everything in the house including pots and pans and spoons etc etc. one day, he used one of the pots to make instant noodles. after cooking it, he just left it on the sink. after a few days it was still in the sink. I couldn't stand looking at that bloody thing in the sink so I reckon I'd just wash it off for him. After a few more times I just got sick of cleaning up after him so i just left the pot there. And Then!!! I cannot believe he actually used the same pot which was dirty, which hasn't been washed for a few days, to cook instant noodles again!!! Oh My god!!! Can u believe that??!?! and after cooking it, he left it there again!!! So, I decided I'll never touch that pot ever again! The pot has since been used a couple more times by him....also without washing off the previous stains. It has now belong to him.
Then, the plates and bowls. I actually did not know that he was thaaattttttttt bad until i walked past his room and smelled what seem like a freaking dead body that has been decomposed for a few months! and when i looked inside his room guess what i found?? My Plate!!! My Own fucking plate in his room filled with some black chicken bones or something...imagine chicken bones which has turned black!! Then some moulds growing on it and some other smelly disgusting looking thing (god knows how long my dear plate has been in that room). Mind you I haven't been eating at home so i didn't even notice that my plate was missing. and he was just sleeping next to it!!! so, the plate has also now belong to him.....
Next is his toilet habits. He share the toilet with Soon and he never buys the toilet rolls!! Soon has to buy it all the time and he would never chip in. all he does is just use it. Not only that , everytime he shits he leaves all his business behind all over the toilet bowl!! and he never wipes it off!! imagine going to a toilet full of shit!! and its your own home!! he hardly ever showers and I reckon he doesn't even brush his teeth!!
I've seriously never seen or heard him brush his teeth before. Just by talking about his dirtiness is enough to give me the creeps so I'm just gonna stop here. there so many more of his other habits that I can't finish talking about it even if given 10 years!It's been a long day today and I'm getting pretty tired so I'm just gonna end with my story here. We'll continue probably tomorrow....Cheerios~!
Got a message from JN telling me bout her dilemmas with Horse. Seems like he's been lying about being single and etc etc....well at least she realised it now than never.....
Finally my home looks cleaner and smells better!! Not to mention its tidier and neater! The Pig finally decided to move his computer and all his belongings into his own room. Right after moving everything, the whole house looked so much better!! Me and Soon really regretted renting out a room to him.... not that we don't get along or anything like that but he is so damn fucking dirty!!!
I seriously do not understand how a normal person can actually sleep in a room full of plates and bowls that has moulds on it! just right next to the bed!
Ok, let me start with his bad habits and his dirtiness......first, his coffe cup... he has his own white coffee cup in which to drink coffee (duH!), on the first day after drinking the coffee he left it on the table, on the second say he took the same cup and made some coffee in it....bear in mind he did not wash it!. on the third day, he did not wash the cup as well and just used it straight....and so it goes on for maybe 2 weeks.... imagining drinking from the same cup for 2 weeks straight without washing it!! I mean, if its just water it is still acceptable but coffee?!?!!? and his cup was no longer white!! it was brown with all the stains stuck to it not matter how hard u try washing it off!!
Next, the utensils. we share everything in the house including pots and pans and spoons etc etc. one day, he used one of the pots to make instant noodles. after cooking it, he just left it on the sink. after a few days it was still in the sink. I couldn't stand looking at that bloody thing in the sink so I reckon I'd just wash it off for him. After a few more times I just got sick of cleaning up after him so i just left the pot there. And Then!!! I cannot believe he actually used the same pot which was dirty, which hasn't been washed for a few days, to cook instant noodles again!!! Oh My god!!! Can u believe that??!?! and after cooking it, he left it there again!!! So, I decided I'll never touch that pot ever again! The pot has since been used a couple more times by him....also without washing off the previous stains. It has now belong to him.
Then, the plates and bowls. I actually did not know that he was thaaattttttttt bad until i walked past his room and smelled what seem like a freaking dead body that has been decomposed for a few months! and when i looked inside his room guess what i found?? My Plate!!! My Own fucking plate in his room filled with some black chicken bones or something...imagine chicken bones which has turned black!! Then some moulds growing on it and some other smelly disgusting looking thing (god knows how long my dear plate has been in that room). Mind you I haven't been eating at home so i didn't even notice that my plate was missing. and he was just sleeping next to it!!! so, the plate has also now belong to him.....
Next is his toilet habits. He share the toilet with Soon and he never buys the toilet rolls!! Soon has to buy it all the time and he would never chip in. all he does is just use it. Not only that , everytime he shits he leaves all his business behind all over the toilet bowl!! and he never wipes it off!! imagine going to a toilet full of shit!! and its your own home!! he hardly ever showers and I reckon he doesn't even brush his teeth!!
I've seriously never seen or heard him brush his teeth before. Just by talking about his dirtiness is enough to give me the creeps so I'm just gonna stop here. there so many more of his other habits that I can't finish talking about it even if given 10 years!It's been a long day today and I'm getting pretty tired so I'm just gonna end with my story here. We'll continue probably tomorrow....Cheerios~!
Boredom..... Sep 18, '04 2:33 AM
Having a really bad sore throat at the moment after working on the Parcellio Scabers report on thursday night. Went to bed only at 7.30 am and had to get up at 10 for a tutorial class!! Dying so much for a cigg but can't smoke because of the sore throat. Was talking to M.Cheng last night on Msn...and i meant talk as in talk because i ws using the audio and she didn't have a mic so she had to type. hahahah it was really funny because it sounded like i was talking to myself and no one was replying me. Also spoke to Yung whom I've not spoken to ever since i left high school! it felt funny talking to him again and those high school memories kept coming back to me. it seems like everyone's changed so much ever since they left school and everyone's an adult now. no more of those heart wrenching teases, backstabbing conversations, rumour spreading poiltics, boy-girl, girl-boy relationship. it felt good!! come to think of it, we were all so young and childish back then!
i was so bored last night because i've been really busy with assgnmts and stuffs for the past couple of weeks and after handing it up, i had nothing more to work on and it was torture!! i know i might sound pretentious but its true!!! it feels really different having been kept occupied for a few weeks! i'm actually looking forward to going to Sydney again on the 30th, all my friends are there already enjoying their holidays. Me and Soon are the only ones left behind because we had another assignment due on the 30th! Sigh....Damn those assignments! These Psych subjects are killing me...We had to write a few thousand words on Social Psych and I have no idea what i'm going to write on! Term break has already started and I can't even enjoy it because of all those assignments....Oh well I'd still have to do it whether I like it or not.Its been a cold Spring.... FLowers are not out yet....Feel like I miss Malaysia....Wanna go back and meet up with my friends....wanna go to the mamak...wanna indulge myself with food.....wanna do so many things....hopefully I'd be able to go back for hols end of this year....Nothing more to write....Looked long enough...Till then~~I'm gonna go do the dishes now......
i was so bored last night because i've been really busy with assgnmts and stuffs for the past couple of weeks and after handing it up, i had nothing more to work on and it was torture!! i know i might sound pretentious but its true!!! it feels really different having been kept occupied for a few weeks! i'm actually looking forward to going to Sydney again on the 30th, all my friends are there already enjoying their holidays. Me and Soon are the only ones left behind because we had another assignment due on the 30th! Sigh....Damn those assignments! These Psych subjects are killing me...We had to write a few thousand words on Social Psych and I have no idea what i'm going to write on! Term break has already started and I can't even enjoy it because of all those assignments....Oh well I'd still have to do it whether I like it or not.Its been a cold Spring.... FLowers are not out yet....Feel like I miss Malaysia....Wanna go back and meet up with my friends....wanna go to the mamak...wanna indulge myself with food.....wanna do so many things....hopefully I'd be able to go back for hols end of this year....Nothing more to write....Looked long enough...Till then~~I'm gonna go do the dishes now......
Start Off
To start off this blog I'm gonna randomly post up old blogs from my previous site. Just to give anyone who's reading an appetizer of me
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