I Am Sad....... Nov 12, '04 11:45 AM

all of a sudden i feel a longing for him..... all this while i've been going fine, going strong and suddenly it just hit me. seems like i've been lying to myself all this while....hiding away....not daring to confront my own feelings. i just feel like i need to cry....cry my heart out.....its been a long time since i really cried. i wish i knew what was going on in his mind. i wish i knew what he was doing. the yearn for him is so strong it aches just to even think of him. there are so many questions that i have no answers to. all the time, i kept pushing all my thoughts and feelings away.....covering myself up.....trying to shift my mind to other things. people keep telling me im not made of steel..... that i should accept the fact that i am very much affected by it. that i am SAD. yes...that word. SAD. I am so sad. So Very Sad. Now I can truly understand why people keep saying that my smile and my laughter is not sincere. That its a hard laugh and a stiff smile. I should learn to accept it.....this sadness.....this sadness which is torturing me....which is making my heart sour.....I Am So Sad.

How could the one I gave my heart to
Break my heart so bad
How could the one who made me happy
Make me feel so sad
Won't somebody tell me
So I can understand
If you love me
How could you hurt me like that

How could the one I gave my world to
Throw my world away
How could the one who said "I love you"Say the things you say
How could the one I was so true to
Just tell me lies
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break this heart of mine
Tell me...

How could you be so cold to me
When I gave you everything
All my love
All I had inside

How could you just walk out the door
How could you not love me anymore
I thought we had foreverI can't understand

How could the one I shared my dreams with
Take my dreams from me
How could the love that brought such pleasure
Bring such misery
Won't somebody tell me
Somebody tell me please
If you love me
How could you do that to me
Tell me...